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​Should We Ever Just Give Up on Someone?

​Should We Ever Just Give Up on Someone?

Posted by Kenny Vaughan on 7th Sep 2020

I got this question in a direct message.

I would like to think I would never give up on someone. I don’t think love ever gives up on someone; but I think love will give up on a relationship, as a last resort.

If someone is living a selfish life and repeatedly hurting us; and we love them, then they are also wrecking their own life – probably, far more than they’re hurting us.

Now, if they are physically hurting us, then we have to leave that relationship.

Otherwise, if we love them, we are going to be relentless in helping them see, as best we possibly can, that what they are doing is not okay.

Love is all of me for you. That also means if I am no longer a help to you but only helping you hurt people, then I have become part of the problem and love requires I step away. Anything else would be selfishness, not love. If someone has truly repented and is fighting to change and making progress and it’s safe... they can’t run me off.

But if I think they are playing games, are dangerous, or haven’t found the will to truly surrender; and don’t seem to be interested in doing so, then I’m out -- for their sake.

If we exhaust all our resources, and they show no absolutely no interest in changing, whatsoever, then they will tell us, “Hey, I don’t want to hear this anymore!”

That’s when, I believe, love has to step away or walk away; so, I would walk away, maybe, even for good.

The old me would give them a piece of my mind on the way out and consider them dead.

The AJ (after-Jesus) me will still leave, but I will give them a piece of my heart on my way out, make sure they know why I left, and make sure they know I am praying they find Jesus.

So, my answer is no: I don’t think love gives up on someone. It prays that at some point they will completely surrender to Jesus and be completely changed, even if it is for someone else.

Thank you, Jesus, for not giving up on me!

Psalm 86:15

“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger. abounding in love and faithfulness.”

Revelation 3:20

Jesus said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.”