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​Can the Person Who Hurt Us Fix Us?

​Can the Person Who Hurt Us Fix Us?

Posted by Kenny Vaughan on 19th Jul 2020

If someone tells you they can heal your wounds, they are manipulating you. People can stop hurting us but they can’t fix the hurt they caused.

Them loving you makes it easier for you to love -- but whether they love you or not -- if you love, you find healing.

Being loved doesn’t heal anyone! Only loving does that and if anyone tells you loving yourself will heal you, please run for your life. It’s a trap!

No Jesus no love. Know Jesus, know love!

I remembered when I first started teaching on the “The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life” and teaching about the tree of our lives and what love is and Isn’t; and about the fruitfulness of our lives. And I was talking to these children about someone taking some of our fruit and hurting us, and asking what we would do? Would we try getting our fruit back? What would it cost us in the process?

One of the kids raised his hand and said, “Mr. Kenny, if we get the fruit back, what do we do with it? Because we can’t put it back on the tree and it may already be rotten?”

I thought, wow, what a great point from a 9-year-old!!

In other words, if someone hurts us, getting even doesn’t fix us. If someone hurts us, they can’t fix us. We can’t fix ourselves.

Only loving will fix us.

By continuing to love, that love will restore everything that was ever taken from us

And when we love, we don’t love to gain anything for ourselves, but we love to bless others.

NOTE: This message is not about abusive situations and is not intended to say if someone is beating you, you should continue to let them.

Allowing someone to abuse us is not loving them. Love takes a stand at the first sign of potential abuse.

If someone is hurting you like that, get out and get away.

In a couple chapters of my book, The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life” I go into more detail on loving and abusive relationships.

Proverbs 17:9

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Luke 6:35-36

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.

1 John 4:19

We love because he first loved us.