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WATCH VIDEO This may change the way you see everything. It did for me. The world says that unless you love yourself, you can’t love anyone else. And the world’s example used most often is this: You are on an airplane and the oxygen goes away. The masks drop down… Unless you put your mask on first, you can’t help anyone else put their mask on. So, unless you love yourself first, how are you ever going to love anyone else. Sounds like a pretty good point. But here is where it breaks do …

Did you know that if we allow someone to keep hurting us it's never because we love them? If we really love them, we only desire what is truly best for them. And we all know it is not best for them to be hurting people. If we really love them, we’ll make sure they know they are hurting us. Then we will ask them why they are hurting us. Then we will do anything in our power to stop them from hurting us or anyone else.  I understand we don’t control what other people do but we do control whet …

Well, you can do what I used to do. You can demand that you our loved. You can have very specific boundaries that tell people how to love you. Unfortunately, what you are going to realize over time is that if you fight to be loved, you actually kill love in your own life. You see, if I fight for you to love me, I kill love in our relationship. It’s not even our responsibility to make sure we are loved. It’s our responsibility to love.  The Good News is that we are already loved. But so …

Hi friend, One thing every big decision has in common is that it’s always a series of decisions, and we almost always have to change our minds. We make a decision based on what we know, what we see, and what we understand from where we are right now. That’s the best decision we can make. But as we move along, things change. We know more. We see more. We understand more, so we can make a better decision. The worst decision we can make is to set our course in a direction and weld the rudder in pla …

The world is not telling you this. Someone loving you or not loving you has nothing to do with anything you do or don’t do. It has nothing to do with you. But the lie we believe that leads to pride that can also lead to boastfulness is that we need to earn or become worthy of love. When the truth is that if you are truly loved or truly not loved, it’s never because of what you do or don’t do. It’s never because of what you have accomplished or failed to accomplish. The person that loves you has …

How to Deal with Your Past Your past isn’t the problem. The problem is we refuse to move on so we end up walking through life backwards. What happened to us may have been good or it may have been bad. But if we stay stuck on that, we walk through life backwards. Then our past becomes our problem. That is always rooted in selfishness. In other words, I hurt someone and I am not selfless enough to repent. So my past stays in my future and I keep walking through life backwards. Maybe someone hurt m …

Love is always kind, but it’s not always nice. Love is all of me for you. Love does what’s best for others without regard for itself. If I know someone who is consistently living a selfish life, or is consistently hurting other people--it may not seem nice to tell them they need to change, but telling them sure is kind. With our own children, whenever they do selfish things or are developing a selfish behavior, it may not seem nice to put them in time-out or give them repercussions for their sel …

No, they are weak and afraid. That’s the whole reason they are monsters. Everything they are doing is a response to fear. Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson teaches young men they should become monsters and then learn to tame themselves. I rarely disagree with him. But I am sure he is wrong on this one. You can’t tame monsters. You have to kill them. Jesus didn’t teach us to tame ourselves. He taught us we had to learn to die to ourselves. He certainly wasn’t a monster. If you want t …

I spent most of my life defending myself until I realized that love is actually my best defense. But I’ll never forget coming to a place where I thought: Okay, Lord, if I am not going to defend myself, who will? And then realized I had to choose who I was going to trust. Who would I trust with my defense—myself or Jesus? It’s a pretty silly question, right? So, I choose to trust Him. And I still have to repeatedly learn to trust Him every day.  Jesus went to the cross for you. He saved you …

And if we don’t know this, we can’t love anyone either. If we don’t know what love is, how are we ever going to love anybody? If the harder we fight, the worse it gets, we are not fighting to love, we are fighting to be loved. We are watering the fruit and expecting the root to take care of itself. That’s not how it works. You have to water the roots and then the fruit takes care of itself. Love is not a feeling. It is a decision. The whole problem with not being loved as a child is not that we …