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How to help someone who hurts you

How to help someone who hurts you

Posted by Kenny Vaughan on 26th Aug 2019


First I want to say, if someone is hurting you physically, every reasonable line has been crossed. Please don’t let it continue at all cost. Escape by any means necessary. Physical abuse is one extreme, and the other extreme is being easily offended. I have seen people justify someone physically beating them, and I have seen others pretend normal anger is insane abuse. The vast majority of the time, neither of these extremes are in play. If you aren’t sure, please seek advice from someone you trust. We have all been hurt, and we have all hurt people, but if someone is consistently hurting you, then loving them requires you stop them. Even if the last resort is walking away. Allowing someone to consistently hurt us is not loving them, it’s loving ourself. If we really love them we will stop them. In most cases the only reason we allow someone to consistently hurt us is because we are afraid that if we confront them, it will cost us the relationship. This is commonly called co-dependency. It’s also known as loving to be loved, but the truth is it’s not love at all. It’s selfishness. This is an extremely tough place to find ourselves, especially if we really care about someone! We must trust God (who is love) more than we trust our own desire or ability to save them. If we really love them we won’t enable their own selfishness. Matthew 18:15 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.